Witness Him Now
I am writing this post because someone needs to hear this. This should not have been my message, it should have been hers, but it is not, so I write.
Two weeks ago my little girl called me and asked if she could stay with me for a week. She needed to get away. For several months things had been tough in her world. At one point she turned her back on God and was in utter darkness for nearly a month. During that time enemies entered her heart again - things she thought were under the blood, conquered: anxieties, fears, depression, sorrow, rejection and abandonment. But in the middle of it all, she kept reaching for the hem of Jesus’ garment. The night before she called me, despair entered her and she wanted to take her life. She wanted the pain to end. So when she called, We gladly took her in.
She came to my house on a Tuesday. No one knew where she was, not even her children, only her husband. Her husband came over that night, and they laid on the trampoline and talked. They rested - hearts at peace for the first time in forever. Many things had been said and done on both sides of their marriage that caused pain and heart-ache, but God was beginning to heal. They laughed together. They cried. They talked. t was a miracle that their hearts were open to one another, but they were. The next night they went to church, and my little girl stood up in the middle of the congregation with her husband and asked for prayer. The church rallied around them, and one bold lady stood up with the microphone and said, “We can pray all day long, but you have to make decisions. You have to decide.” Then one man said, “When you are going through trials, go back and visit the altars - the places where God gave you victory before. Remember what He has done for you.”
The next night, a Thursday, my little girl was unsettled. She kept saying, “What did he say about altars?” Then she remembered the last time God spoke to her, it was about two weeks before everything went crazy. He spoke out of 1 Samuel 17 - David and Goliath, so she went back to that word, and as we lay on my bed, she went word by word and God spoke to her heart. What she saw was a giant - the enemy of her soul - fully protected with armor (lies) that shielded him. His weapons were heavy and thick, and he taunted her, “I defy the armies of Israel today. Send me a man (woman) who will fight me.”
Then she began to search her heart to find out who this giant was. It was bigger than adultery. It was that she had never been able to stay within boundaries. She had always had a hard time with clear standards. Goliath shouted, “Choose one man to come down here and fight me! If he kills me, then we will be your slaves. But if I kill him, you will be our slaves! I defy the armies of Israel today! Send me a man who will fight me!” And everyone was terrified and deeply shaken.
My little girl began to tell me of the different armies: the Philistines - depression, anger, sorrow, abandonment, rejection, worthlessness, hatred, shame, guilt - a whole army who will become our slaves if we defeat the giant. But if we don’t defeat the giant, our army - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, light, truth, mercy, grace, wisdom, understanding - will become their slaves. Then David came out and heard the giant taunt them. The people said, “He comes out each day to defy Israel. The king has offered a huge reward to anyone who kills him.” Then my little girl said, “That’s like God. He offers a huge reward to anyone who kills the giant.”
Then David told Saul, “Don’t worry about this Philistine, I will go and fight him.” “I have been taking care of my father’s sheep and goats,” he said. “When a lion or a bear comes to steal a lamb from the flock, I go after it with a club and rescue the lamb from its mouth. If the animal turns on me, I catch it by the jaw and club it to death. I have done this to both lions and bears, and I’ll do it to this pagan Philistine, too, for he has defied the armies of the living God! The LORD who rescued me from the claws of the lion and the bear will rescue me from this Philistine!” Then my little girl began to recount all of the times that God had rescued her from the mouths of the lion and the bear. She, too, had known the power of the God of heaven’s armies. She had experienced first hand the God who rescues.
Then Saul tried to give David his armor. It didn’t fit, so he took it off. All he needed was five smooth stones. As she began talking, she said, “These stones are truth.” We can defeat this giant with the truth.” Then Goliath cursed David by the names of his gods saying, “Come over here and I will give your flesh to the birds and wild animals!” Then David said, “You come to me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of Heaven’s Armies - the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. Today the LORD will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel! And everyone assembled here will know that the LORD rescues His people, but not with sword and spear. This is the LORD’s battle, and He will give you to us!
Then my little girl sat there and talked about all that God was doing and all He had done. That night I felt like God had already defeated the giant and he was laying on the ground waiting for my little girl to cut off his head. All she had to do was take the sword out, but she would not. She did not want to stay within boundaries. She still wanted to do what she wanted to do. That day she asked me to pray Hosea 2 over her. She said, “Pray for the hedge of thorns so that I will not be able to catch my other lovers.” But I would not do it. “Sweet girl, that is a prayer of punishment. What God wants is for you to choose Him. Don’t make Him force you to follow Him.” But she said, “Listen to what it says: ‘But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there.’” I thought to myself, she doesn’t understand that she will be stripped naked and lose everything. I did not pray the prayer. I wanted her to choose God and not man. I wanted her to choose the truth and not a lie. I wanted her to choose life and not death.
The next day we went to a women’s conference. My little girl isolated herself. She allowed her own thoughts to take over. By the time we got back from the conference, she had made up her mind that she wanted to leave her husband and embrace another man. By the time she got home, she had rejected the truth and embraced a lie. Goliath won. His armies now have a right to take over. Her armies were defeated. God did not get glory, the enemy did.
So I haven’t heard from her in over a week. On Thursday of this week I heard from her husband that she decided to move in with the other man, and he was going to take the house. My heart sank. Truly, I did not know if she would live. She had chosen to go her own way. My heart grieved and wept. All I could see was Hebrews 6 in my mind. “For it is impossible to bring back to repentance those who were once enlightened - those who have experienced the good things of heaven and shared in the Holy Spirit, who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the power of the age to come (This all describes my little girl.) - and who then turn away from God. It is impossible to bring such people back to repentance; by rejecting the Son of God, they are nailing Him to the cross once again and holding Him up to public shame.” I could not breathe. She was holding her husband and her Savior up to public shame. But then I faced Jesus and I opened my heart wide. He said, “It is not over until I say it is over.”
The next morning He woke me up and gave me a word for my little girl. It is found in Ezekiel 16. It is her life story - beginning, middle, and end, and even though it is a hard word full of anger and punishment, in the end God’s unfailing love wins. His covenant with her will remain. So now I will pray the prayer that she wanted me to pray last week.
LORD, I am asking that You fence my little girl in with thorn bushes. Block her path with a wall to make her lose her way. When she runs after her lovers, she won’t be able to catch them. She will search for them but not find them. Then she will think, ‘I might as well return to my husband, for I was better off with him than I am now.’ She doesn’t realize it was You who gave her everything she has - the grain, the new wine, the olive oil; You even gave her silver and gold. But she gave all Your gifts to Baal.
So now God, You say, “I will take back the ripened grain and new wine I generously provided each harvest season. I will take away the wool and linen clothing I gave her to cover her nakedness. I will strip her naked in public, while all her lovers look on. No one will be able to rescue her from My hands. I will put an end to her annual festivals, her new moon celebrations, and her Sabbath days - all her appointed festivals. I will destroy her grapevines and fig trees, things she claims her lovers gave her. I will let them grow into tangled thickets, where only wild animals will eat the fruit. I will punish her for all those times when she burned incense to her images of Baal, and went out to look for her lovers but forgot all about Me,” says the LORD.
“But then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. I will return her vineyards to her and transform the Valley of Trouble into a gateway of hope. She will give herself to Me there, as she did Long ago when she was young, when I freed her from her captivity in Egypt. When that day comes,” says the LORD, ‘you will call Me ‘my husband’ instead of ‘my master.’…I will make you My wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know Me as the LORD.
“In that day, I will answer,” says the LORD. “I will answer the sky as it pleads for clouds. And the sky will answer the earth with rain. Then the earth will answer the thirsty cries of the grain the grapevines, and the olive trees. And they in turn will answer, ‘Jezreel’ - ‘God plants!’ At that time I will plant a crop of Israelites and raise them for Myself. I will show love to those I called ‘Not loved.’ And to those I called ‘Not My people,’ I will say, ‘Now you are My people.’ And they will reply, ‘You are our God!’”
So now I know that hard times await my girl. I can’t even imagine, but the LORD will not let me be a part of it. For the last eight years I have held her and nurtured her. I have sheltered her. I have helped provide for her needs, both physical and spiritual, I have held her close to my heart, but now God says, “No more. She is mine. You will only get in the way.” If only she had thrown the stone. I know which stone would have killed the giant. “If you love Me, you will obey me.” That stone would have hit the mark, but she didn’t throw it. She wanted her own way.
But it is never too late. Throw the stone. Set the boundaries. Do what is right no matter the cost. It will happen. Boundaries will be set. It will just be a lot harder now. The consequences will be greater, but there can be peace in the middle of whatever circumstances you find yourself in if you shut the door to sin, if you set immovable boundaries, if you deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus. There is only one way to get to heaven, and it is not our way.
Now I want to say, “I love you, girl. I always will. But I cannot be a part of your life any longer. I refuse to get in God’s way. I will let Him do whatever He has to do, and I will rejoice because I know the end.” If I could give you a word of advice, you know what it would be. No matter what happens: Fix your eyes on Jesus, guard your heart, and give thanks. God is always up to something good. He is mighty to save. Keep your eyes on the promises because God is faithful. His unfailing love endures forever.
All my love,
The scripture says, "May you prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers."